1. |
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[Verse]
Now this is a story all about how
All the member of development get right down
To business, and with this song I’ll prowl
I'll tell you how we get to work, don’t mess around
Meet with the members of our group every day
In a stand up meeting we don’t delay
Discuss what we’re gonna do for the next two weeks
Choosing how important you think the tools be
Argue over what jobs need to be done first
Review the ones for the future, what’s in the dumpster
The fibonacci sequence when we’re grading it just works
I don’t know why, don’t ask me cuz I’m stumped, word
Get right to work, team gets down to business
Nobody stops until we’ve finished the ticket
Make sure we have good communication
Always ask about code ‘fore you change it
Then when we did it, we log all the changes
If we dont keep track of everything, that could be dangerous
Gotta send the message for the QA testers
They take the code and give it a checkup
Positive tests use the code how you’re supposed to
Negative you do things nobody would do
Destruction tests the limit of the functions
When we’re done testing put it in production
So that was the cycle of a product line
First it gets developed by a team of mine
Then we check it up for quality of life
Finally we ship it out, see ya, bye
[Outro]
I’m about to hand it over to my friends in Customer Education
What do you guys have to say?
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2. |
I Am Customer Education
02:56
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[Intro]
Just let it run
Turn the beat up a little bit
This song is for anyone in customer education
You know what, just listen
[Verse 1]
I just sit and exist and make vids for these kids
And parents that are ticked at the quality bits
Of this polish and garnishing, constantly watching it
Honestly stopping is off of the options
Pull people together, whatever the weather
It’s clear and it’s expertly meshed in content
I just help people see all the features and feats that this
Program achieves in its steep little leverage
Oh, how it helps and it shows the info
And I hope that it sells and I go get promoted
You’re supposed to just know how to use all the tools
Videos in like two minutes turn you a pro
That’s practically happenin all of the time
Unfathomable actions I walk in a line
I stop and just write the next talk that just might
Get the audience blinded by polish and I’m
[Hook]
And I am the customer education man
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am the customer education man
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
I don't know, it's just the way I am
[Verse 2]
Sometimes at events I just like to just not be all bothered
With all of this nonsense it’s constant
I’m trying to put on a show and you go and ask
“I am a solo, an entrepreneur
And I want to know if your program can show
The info on a teacher’s old phone, and also
Is it free, can it be? All my fees have been weak
Every week it’s just me tryna be in the green”
We’re a company, why are you asking for rations
You’re funny, not like you’re in Africa rabid for
Food or a tube you just use till you puke
No-no, you get to choose what the stew that you chew is
that’s why we donate, we’re not trying for hate
We’re just kind and we’re great, get in line little snake
Not tryna divide, we got Intel Unite
What is it? I’m livid, go find the IT guy
[Hook]
And I am the customer education man
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am the customer education man
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
I don't know, it's just the way I am
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3. |
The Real I.T.
03:22
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[Intro]
May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will everyone in informational technology please stand up?
I repeat, will everyone in informational technology please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here
[Verse 1]
Y'all act like you never seen a bright person before
Discretionary time off, so I’m off to the door
It’s very scary, but when I stop to score
My god, it’s torture, I’m full of it
It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn’t just finish every ticket, did he?"
And then QA said… nothing, the
Members of QA dread us leaving this place dead
Helpin out members of development
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, He did it, I'm sick of him
Look at him, keeping track of all the you-know-what
Thinking of you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."
Wondering what's wrong, you got the screws up in your set loose
Takes two minutes to set up the tele in your bedroom
People think I don’t keep track of what I let loose
Setting up the system takes less brain than a dead moose
I finish all the tickets, I finish all the tickets
Still have time to go in the breakroom after I did it
Got a message development needs an Intel this minute
Write it down in the system, give it a number and send it
Of course they’re taking intern courses
By the time they hit 10th grade
They’ve got employment skills, don't they?
We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
Who steal the equipment, take it home like animals
But hey, we’ve got their address and info
So there's no trouble getting it back, it’s tragic yo
So if you know someone stole, I got the antidote
Fellas and the antelopes, sing the chorus, and it goes—
[Hook]
I'm in IT, yes the real IT
All you other guys wanna be just like me
So won't the real IT G’s stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
I'm in IT, yes the real IT
All you other guys wanna be just like me
So won't the real IT G’s stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Verse 2]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, ‘cause I'm only givin' you
Things to help you out with your setting up the living room
The only difference is I got the smarts to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it, I just dish it
Better than 90% of you helpers out can
Then you wonder: "How can
Kids eat up this info for Windows
It’s funny,” ‘cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home workin
Whippin it up, taking calls, delivering,
Get right to the case, never stall, just a person
Who’s gonna get on the news with his merit
Gotta a team system, work well with every person
A machine I might as well be when I’m discouraged
I just fill back up with courage, every minute make a difference
So will the IT G’s stand up
And please try to be on your ‘beast’ manners
And be proud have all the power and the control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Hook x 2]
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